It’s difficult to reach adulthood without having absorbed much of your parents’ ways of the seeing the world. My father’s worldview was informed by a fairly ubiquitous South Island rural stoicism, but there was a spiritually-informed side to it also that he never really made too overt. So, here’s my offering to my late father: a collection of twelve aphorisms I’ve written in recent years, all reflecting a mixture of the stoic wisdom and spiritual-mindedness he instilled in me.
Societal change may be achieved via punishment, shaming, and admonishment, absolutely, but only if you desire resentment, subterfuge, and unrest as their inevitable offspring.
To the traumatised, the neglected, and the undiscerning, dogma often looks like safety.
If you don't possess even a rudimentary understanding of yourself, you'll find it difficult by default to understand others.
Grief is a skill, where the teacher assigned to help you master its subtleties, and the pupil committed to absorbing its teachings are one and the same: yourself.
If you can't cogently, coherently, and compassionately defend a point, then you don't have one.
The degree to which we can regard a movement's ideas as inflexible and possibly dangerous is determined by the degree to which critical inquiry of these ideas is welcomed.
Before we rush to describe ourselves via labels, tribal affiliations, and fashionable hashtags, consider that our greatest task in life may actually be to bravely and deftly resist such categorisations.
The more books we read, the more people we talk to, the more diverse viewpoints we consider, the more we become aware of what may be possible in our own life. Echo chambers and rigid ideologies not only crush the spirit and limit our options - they also discourage others from regarding us with anything other than pity, fear, or abject frustration.
If I follow someone you dislike on social media, does this indicate a moral failure on my part, or an intellectual one on yours?
The most potent creator of self-esteem and reminder of personal agency is being of service to others humbly, willingly. Our inevitable low times then become strangely bearable as we remember that substantial relief is just one act of kindness away.
It's impossible to be made to feel ashamed for something we have accepted within ourselves. Shame requires our permission. Acknowledging our shadow - the less savoury aspects of our character - guarantees that this permission can never be granted.
Those quickest to condemn others, habitually rejecting any sense of curiosity, caution, moderation, or compassion, are invariably their own harshest critics. Think about it: if they talk of others in this way, with such unregulated venom, imagine how they must regard themselves?
Twelve Aphorisms
Sorry to hear your sad news. Thanks to your dad for his role in raising an astute, courageous and critical thinker.
Sending love, Paul. Dads are so special. I’m so sorry for your loss 🙏🏽♥️