Never hide your light

Talking back to my bullies… decades later

It’s interesting what hangs around in the psyche long after childhood is over.

Psychotherapy honours these dynamics. The experiences of childhood will often manifest in adult life in some form or another, often surprising us many years later.

Why am I mentioning this?

Well, today I was accused of constantly using language that makes me sound like I live in a university lecture hall, the implication being that I think I’m better than everyone else.

What shallow, flaccid piffle.

The accusation didn’t hurt, though it did make me smile. It brought back some long-forgotten memories.

I was constantly teased as a child for “using big words”.  Subsequently, I withdrew as a teenager, typing my stories, poems and articles in my bedroom, but showing them to no one. 

I literally hid my light under a bushel until I hit adulthood, and even then I frequently dumbed myself down for risk of “offending” someone.

I was even occasionally the recipient of homophobic slurs for having the temerity to use words that accurately expressed how I felt. Apparently real men don’t do that.

At this point in my life however, I make no apology for my words, or my online posts. I have always adored language, and I greatly value precision when it comes to articulating one’s thoughts.

I acknowledge that I am a good writer, still learning and growing, yes, but it is one of the few things in my life I can claim as “being good at”, despite the edicts of my youth requiring me to be modest in all things. 

If you’re threatened, amused, or irritated in any way by my lofty expressions, my little diatribes, my passionate posts, or the ideas that I attempt (sometimes clumsily) to explore, then I’d gently suggest that this says far more about you than it does about me.

Talk to the ideas, not to my expression of them. Only doing the latter speaks to your own perceived inadequacies, not mine. 

Take some responsibility - mute me, unfollow me, or defriend me, because I ain’t the one who’ll be changing.

And never ever hide your light!